• Staci Sweet

Mediating Moms

I was reading my chapter this morning when I saw something about Rebekah that I never seen.

Genesis 27 tells the story of Jacob tricking his almost blind father, Isaac, into believing that he is his twin brother, Esau. Isaac was about to bless his eldest son when his wife, Rebekah, warned her youngest that he was about to do so. Ordinarily, that wouldn’t be a big deal but to give you a bit of the backstory, Esau sold his birthright blessing to his younger brother for a pot of stew. Yes, that’s right, a pot of stew.

You see, Esau didn’t understand the power nor the importance of his birthright. One day after a hard day of work, he was tired and didn’t feel like cooking. Thankfully, his younger brother had some vittles going and offered him to share; only this pot of stew came with terms and conditions. Of which included selling his birthright, to which Esau agreed and even went so far as to say,

“…I am about to die; so what is this birthright to me?”

The thing about it, is that the birthright came with an added responsibility and blessing. But Esau wasn’t just the first born of any family, he was the great grandson of Abraham. The man who God made a personal covenant with. The man whom God used to defeat four kingdoms with 318 men. The man whom God called friend, and the man whom God said that out of all the descendants of the earth, Abraham’s family would be blessed above all. So the fact that Esau sold the birthright to all that just proves that he either ignorant of his lineage or he didn’t believe in the God of his grandfather. Either way, Jacob tricked him into selling it.

But here’s the thing. When it came time for the blessing, oh Esau was all ears. He was ready to be blessed but knew nothing about the birthright. He knew he wanted to inherit his father’s wealth, but was woefully ignorant that the wealth was within the birthright, of which he sold for a hot pot of stew. So when his mother overheard Isaac, tell Esau that it was time for him to divvy up his assets, she did something, that as a mother, I take issue with.

First, when she found out it was time for her eldest son to be blessed, she went and told her youngest son. Ordinarily, that would be fine. But then, she went so far as to tell her youngest how he needed to trick his father into giving him the blessing that he’d already tricked his brother out of. Did that make sense? But it gets worse.

This mother devises a plan that involves her son disguising himself as her other son so that her husband can bless their younger son. Now what kind of shimmedy-sham-bippity-bop is going on here? Yes, that’s right. This mother coaches her son into what he needs to do to deceive his father, and guess what? It worked! Isaac leaves everything to Jacob and she and her son are ecstatic. Only Esau quickly finds out and says he’s going to kill Jacob dead. D-A-E-D, dead 😊.

As a mother, I began to think about Esau. Esau knew his brother tricked him out of his inheritance, but how would he feel once he found out his mother knew about it? And not just knew about it, but orchestrated the whole plan? How would you feel if your mother did that to you?

One of the best things God has ever given me is my son. I so enjoy being his mother, even though he’s 32. Being his mother has made me an even better Mom so when I looked at Rebekah, I was like, “Ma’am!” Because as a mother, she could have mediated the whole thing. She could have:

1. Called Esau to the side and told him that she knew Isaac was about to leave him everything which Esau would have agreed. But once she told him that she knew her about their little meal-of-a-deal, AS HIS MOTHER, she could have sat her son down, privately, and had that hard talk, and thus, allowing HIM to make the decision as to what he felt he should do. Or…

2. AS A MOTHER, she could called both of her adult sons together and told Esau she knew about their little arrangement. And though they were both adults, she could have reminded them that they were brothers, fraternal twins at that, and that they needed to come to some type of an agreement…as men and as brothers. Or…

3. AS A WIFE, Rebekah could have told her husband, Isaac, about the deal-of-a-meal and let him decide what he needed to do. Or…

4. AS BOTH A WIFE AND MOTHER, she could have called a family meeting and asked Jacob to tell his father about their deal while giving Esau an opportunity to explain his reasoning for making such a deal, and thus, allowing her husband to do what he saw fit while allowing her adult sons to make their own decision and hash things out – amongst themselves.

AS A WIFE and MOTHER, Rebekah could have mediated the whole situation, yet she betrayed one son for the other. And not only did she betray her son, but her husband as well. She risked it all for Jacob’s blessing, not knowing she could have mediated and navigated the entire thing; especially since her pregnancy she knew that there were

“Two nations are in [her] womb…[and] one people [brother] shall be stronger than the other [brother], and the older [brother] shall serve the younger.”

She knew that about her sons since birth. They should have known that. She should have sat them down WAY BEFORE this incident and told them what the Lord told her, so that both Esau and Jacob would have been prepared. Yet she and Isaac played favorites. Esau was Isaac’s and Jacob was hers, and anytime you play favorites, with anybody, there is going to be resentment. Doesn’t matter if it’s a child, sister, or co-worker. Favorites should never be an option.

So moms, never play favorites with your children because you don’t know what long lasting effects it will have on them as adults. Whether its your oldest, youngest, or stepchild, NEVER play favorites; even if they’re adults. And if by chance you have….

Pray this with me: Heavenly Father, please forgive me for favoring one child over the other. Please forgive me for not using my maternal position to mediate amongst my children. Though my children are adults, I ask that You forgive me for any dissension I caused and that You would teach me how to mother equally. In Jesus’ name.

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