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  • Staci Sweet

Confrontational Females: She Was Taught To Buck

In our last issue, I introduced the young man that had been sent to an Alternative Program because he’d gotten into altercation that went from ‘spit boxing’ to a ‘shoving match' with a young woman. In it, I posed the question of what should he have done. As a young man, still learning how to be a man, probably in the absence of a father – was he supposed to sit there and allow her to continue to disrespect the very core of his being or should he have done what he did?


As women, especially if you’ve ever experienced domestic violence, your immediate response is that ‘He should have sat there and let her do it. He’s a man and as such, he has no right to hit a woman!’ Point made and appreciated. But think about this. Men are taught that respect is king. Everything in them demands it. In fact, God created them to be. Therefore, when this young lady, who was not only being disrespectful, but had done so in the presence of other young men – what was he to do? If he did what we’ve all been taught that men should do, he would have lost his ‘street cred’ or the respect of his fellow peers. But, if he shoved her – then not only would his peers reverence him more, but other young ladies would think twice before they stepped to him.


Of the two, from his point of view – which is worse? To loose the respect of other men or to gain everybody’s and remove her from his space? So my point is this. He had to choose between two WRONG choices. And what about ole girl? Do I now have to fault this young lady for her actions? No, because it’s not a matter of fault; it’s a matter of what she’s been taught. Her world dictated her response. The fact that she was comfortable enough engaging in a ‘spit boxing match’ which quickly escalated into her being bold enough to jump up in his face; shouting, spittin’, eyes rolling, neck poppin’ and I’m quite sure in close proximity with someone that she knows has more physical strength than she does – clearly shows that this young lady has not been taught. Not biblically anyway about how to conduct herself as a young lady and not in regards as to how a young man is to be treated. Socially, she’s well-educated and far advanced when it comes to ‘not letting anyone talk to you any kind of way.’ She knows she doesn’t have to take that sort of treatment or speech from anybody – including a man. Yes, she has that down pat; in fact, most of us do.


But ladies, our social training does not line up with the Bible. And hear me out. I’m not trying to set the Women’s Movement back forty years. My point is that anytime our teachings and experiences fail to line up or agree with what God said; then as grown women – with our education and experiences in hand – even we must make a decision. Are we going to go with our education, tradition and what the culture dictates - ‘the totality of socially transmitted behavior patterns, arts, beliefs, institutions, and all other products of human work and thought1.’ Or are we going to unlearn what we’ve been taught and get our thinking in line with the Word of God?

Pray this with me: Heavenly Father, I admit that some of what I’ve learned and experienced does not agree with what You said in Your Word Lord. So, as I read these issues, teach me how You want me to conduct myself as a woman of God and then re-educate me as to how I am to treat and interact with men. In Jesus’ name.


SOURCE: 1 Yahoo Online Dictionary



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