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  • Staci Sweet

For Mothers With Adult Sons

On June 28, 2010, I was awakened at 4:47am by the slamming of the bathroom door. As I lay there, I overhead my son sniffling and immediately my heart sank; so I prayed. When I went to him, he was on his side, with his hands cupped under his cheeks, looking heartbroken. In that moment, I remembered how the day before while cleaning his room, I ran across some poetry he’d written and in it he described how hurt he was. While he lay there, the Holy Spirit, through me, ministered to my son. I gave him his Bible and opened it and noticed he’d already begun to read it because he’d dated it the day before. In that moment I thought, ‘Wow! How quickly God works!

That same morning, the Spirit of the Lord gave me 4 verses of scriptures to stand on for my son; Romans 5:3-5, Romans 15:13, Hebrews 11:1, and Romans 8:24, 25. After I read each scripture, I didn’t know the Lord was giving me something to live off of for the next few years.

My purpose for sharing my story in this series is that if you know someone who has adult children who seem stuck, unfulfilled, not serving God the way they should, or seem to not be living the life you envisioned, I pray my story, of how God is yet working in both me and my 22-year-old son empowers and equips you to know that there is hope. Enjoy!

Pressured T0 Choose Between Wrong Choices When I began to study the scriptures the Spirit of the Lord gave me, the first was Romans 5:3-5, ‘And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.’ What my son and I had been experiencing was pure tribulation. Without writing my autobiography, by June of 2010, both my son and I were unemployed and living in a rat, bug, termite, and wasp infested home. We couldn’t afford to pay for gas, so we boiled water in the microwave to take baths and cooked our meals on a hot plate. By this time, we’d been living like this for almost 2 years so this particular night I knew my son was at a breaking point. I know some of you may be thinking, why didn’t y’all get jobs? Good question, but before you begin to judge, hear me out. My son was frustrated because though he’d grown up in the hood, I’d raised him differently. Though we lived in the hood, we didn’t think like the hood. So now that he was 20 years old and while most young men his age were trapping, banging, hustling, or living with their baby’s momma on her section 8; neither of those appealed or applied to my son. Because we’d made poor decisions, he’d dropped out of school, gotten into trouble and was now on probation – not drug or gang related. (That’s a different issue!) But putting this in perspective, we were living in this house under those conditions - all while he was trying to be a man, in the absence of a father, without any male family members, positive male role models or friends. Now you can better understand his tribulation. The word tribulation means ‘to be crowded or pressured.’ The situation had begun to crowd him; so much so, that there was an unusual amount of pressure. Peer pressure in that some would question why he wouldn’t trap or bang; especially since he didn’t have any money. The situation was attempting to pressure him into making a decision between several wrong choices; trap, bang, hustle or pimp. Perhaps your sons are faced with the same pressures and because of where they’ve grown up, they too are being pressured to choose between a host of wrong choices. Maybe they’ve dropped out of school, made some mistakes, but are still trying to do the right thing in the face of so much wrong. The Word of God says, ‘And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance’. That tribulation, crowding and pressure our sons are experiencing is producing perseverance; both in them and in us, but know this - our sons are not alone, God is with them and there is hope.