How To Forgive Someone Close

‘And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.’ Mark 11:25,26

Unforgiveness is more than forgiving someone for their actions; it's letting them go. Releasing them from any and all debt and expectations – monetary or otherwise. For me it was someone extremely close. But yet and still, in order for me to forgive, God had to take me through a healing process.

First, He allowed me to see that person as a woman. Not her role or position in my life, but who she was as a person. That means I had to stand back and look at her life from a woman's perspective. Once I saw her as a peer, as a woman like me, I was now in a position to see her as an individual; apart from our relationship, which allowed me to empathize.

Secondly, I not only had to see her as a woman; but also remember how old she was when she hurt me. Once I could see her at a certain age, God then allowed me to compare myself to where I was mentally, financially, and spiritually at that same age; to analyze the circumstances I was faced with and the decisions I made as a result. Once I did that, I was in a better position to understand why she made her decisions; in addition to accepting why she wasn’t able to make better ones. Once I looked beyond who she was NOW, I was able to heal. Once I saw her as a woman at such and such age, and dealing with such and such situations; I was then able to truly forgive her. Given the same set of circumstances, I too could have made the same mistakes and quite honestly, I did more dirt. God forgave me for mine so who was I not to forgive her for hers?

God helped me to forgive; even to the point of initiating affection. I honestly do not hold a grudge, carry any anger, resentment, or harbor any bitterness toward her. I’ve even gotten to the point where I don’t rehearse the memories or put her business in the street, even when opportunities present themselves to do so. God is a healer. Psalms 41:4 says, “...Lord be merciful to me, heal my soul…’and He has done just that. He healed my soul. He did it for me and He’ll do it for you.

Pray this with me: Heavenly Father, I know I should forgive; but they’re so close to me that I don’t think I can and quite honestly; I don’t want to. Lord, help me to see them as you see them. I know it may take some time; so please give me the grace to keep my mind and my mouth off of them until I do. In Jesus’ name.

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