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  • Writer's pictureStaci Sweet

Justifying Fatness with Foolishness

Hey there.  What?  You not speaking? Okay. Okay.  I'm sorry.  I haven't written in almost three weeks. But I haven't given up.  So let me fill you in on what's going on.  I'm walking pretty regularly now. And though I feel like a size 12 after every walk; I'm pretty sure I'm still an 18.  But I've noticed that I can get in some 16's and I can tell my britches are fitting me better.  But here's what I wanted to share with you.

Steve Harvey is raising money for charity by working out for FOUR HOURS STRAIGHT on his highly acclaimed, nationally syndicated radio broadcast.  FOUR HOURS y'all.  And yes it's for a great cause and yes the boys he's doing it for are important. But FOUR HOURS for 30 DAYS??? That's some Biggest Loser-type-stuff right there.  Ordinarily, I'd continue to scroll through the Gram and be like 'Oh, that's good! You go Steve!' as if I'd done my good deed for the day. But while watching him peddle, I got inspired.  Because I'd walked 4 miles yesterday (sure did!), I decided I was going to rest today.  But seeing Mr. Harvey do his thing, I got to thinkin'; if he can do it for four, I can get my one in.  So I zipped out of bed, headed towards my closet and then the real battle began.

Girdle Wars

So I'm in my closet, determined and inspired to get this walk in and I reach to get my uniform. What's that?  Remember, I'm still hood bound, which means I have one set of jogging pants that I wear and a run down pair of Nike's that I got as a result of a guest leaving them in a room I once cleaned while working Housekeeping at the Holiday Inn. I digress. But I'm in my closet, all excited about my morning walk when I decide I'm going to wear some shorts and change it up a bit. But because I have more than a few lumps and bumps, I reach for some old girdles - not Spanx - old girdles that my 60-something Aunt's gave me over a decade ago. Laugh if you want to :(

I grab the first pair and it reads 'LARGE'. I'm like, "Bet! I can sholl squeeze in these.' But though my mind thinks I'm a 12, my thighs smack me back into reality as I realize, that's not going to work. Okay. No problem.  I grab the other one. 'Okay, let's see. X-LARGE.  Oh yeah, ya girl got this.  I can sholl get up in these.'  And you know what I DID! The only problem was that I was exhausted from having squzzed (not squeeze, squzzed) into them.  And not only that, I had muffin top thighs.  So now I'm like, 'Man, after all that, I'm not going!' And ladies this is where it gets serious because this is where so many of us quit.