So what happens when an adulterous husband reconsiders his decision? What happens when he realizes that the woman he left his wife for, isn’t a woman at all. She’s just a chick. An immature, deceptive, and selfish side chick who no longer makes him happy. In fact, she’s worse than his wife ever was. She’s demanding and disrespectful. She doesn’t get along with his kids and neither does she have a desire to. He now sees her divisiveness as she tries to force him to choose again. Only this time the choice isn’t between she and his wife; it’s between him and his kids. What happens when the spice, the spontaneity, and the newness wear off? Has he now come to his Saulish moment?
Persecuting His Wife, the Church
Acts 9:1-4 says, ‘…Saul, still breathing threats and murder against the disciples of the Lord, went to the high priest and asked letters...so that if he found any who were of the Way (church)...he might bring them bound to Jerusalem. As he journeyed...suddenly a light shone around him from heaven. Then he fell to the ground, and heard a voice saying to him, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting Me?” Believe it or not, some husbands do get to this point. Similar to Saul, they too have persecuted their wife with their adulterous actions. Ephesians 5:25-27 compares the church to marriage when it says, ‘Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church…’ This husband’s wife was his church, yet he persecuted her with his unfaithfulness as he no longer loved her the way God intended. Yet somehow, somewhere along the way, there will come a time when the Lord will ask Saulish husbands, why? ‘Why did you leave your wife? Why did you persecute the church that I told you to take care of? ’ To which I don’t know what that husband’s answer will be, but much like Saul, the Lord will then tell him, “…it is hard for you to kick against the goads.” In other words, ‘It’s hard for you to ignore that this is not right.’ So what does Saul do? ‘…He, trembling and astonished, said, “Lord, what do You want me to do?” Instinctively, this husband knows what he must do. He knows he has to leave his side chick and go home. But like Saul, Jesus may tell him, “Arise and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do.”
The Process of Reconciliation
Maybe the first step to reconciliation isn’t to go back home. Like Saul, perhaps this man needs to leave his side chick and get a room until God gives him his next instruction. Because usually in these situations, the husband tries to immediately go back home where he's usually not welcomed; simply because the wife, the church isn't ready for his return. That’s because he has to go through the process of reconciliation which may involve time away from both the side chick and the wife. Whereas before he jumped out of their marriage and into a home with another woman. This time, he’ll need to take a pause and prove himself – by himself – before reconciling with his wife. Maybe this single pause will serve as the singleness he thought he so desired. Maybe now he’ll wait, by himself, for a season so that the Lord can tell him what he must do to get his wife and his life back. Acts 9:8,9 says, ‘Then Saul arose from the ground...was three days without sight.’ Saul had to be blind for a while. Much like this husband, he couldn’t do what he used to. He can’t stay with his side chick and neither can he go back to the home and wife he once knew. He too has to sit and wait – alone. Without the distraction of any woman. Right now, it’s time for him to be alone with God so that he can rethink, repent, and receive the necessary next steps to move forward.
Villainous Children of God
The thing about adultery is that there has to be someone willing to pray this man through. Though he’s the villain, there has to be a protagonist willing to walk alongside this villainous husband while he’s on the dark side, until he’s able to get to a street called Straight and finally see the light. In Saul’s case, Ananias was that person. The Lord told Ananias, ‘…go to the street called Straight…[to a man named Saul]…for he has been praying.’ Much like you, Ananias doesn’t want to help or pray for Saul because he’s heard about what Saul, or this husband, did. How he persecuted the church, his wife and left his family to be with another woman. But the Lord tells him, ‘…Go, for he is a chosen vessel of Mine.’ Contrary to your opinion, men that commit adultery are still children of God. Though a disobedient child, they still belong to God which means as our brother-in-the-Lord, we're responsible to cover even our villainous brothers/husbands in prayer.
Ananias obeyed and prayed for him to ‘receive [his] sight and [to] be filled with the Holy Spirit.”…[and] immediately there fell from his eyes something like scales.’ Much like Saul, with our prayers, the scales can fall off of this Saulish husband’s eyes, because up until this point, he hadn’t been seeing, his wife or his life, correctly. He was blinded by the attention of a strange woman. Blinded by her compliments, adoration, and sex. Once the Lord sent someone to pray for God to intervene, he no longer walked on the dark side of adultery but was now able to literally see the light. That someone God sends may very well be you. But are you willing to pray for a Saulish husband? Because remember, Saul's to turn into Paul's.
Pray this with me: Heavenly Father, I lift up ______________ and ask that You’d get his attention and help him to see that what he did to __________________ is wrong. I ask that You’d forgive him and that You’d help him to get his wife and his life back. In Jesus’ name.
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